I still feel a bit sick when I think about the amputation. I still feel sad watching him struggle to get up from his bed, or down from a sofa. However, Rowan has adapted to his new state so much better than I have. He greeted the builder, who’s come back to carry out the last bit of “snagging” in the new build with great joy, almost knocking the poor man off his feet. He doesn’t come out into the garden as much as he did … before, if I said “Let’s go & see the chickens”, he’d be at my heel as we went up the stairs, with Little Willow bouncing on ahead. Now it’s just me and Willow, tho on a couple of occasions he’s come up later and I have come out of the hens’ run to find him waiting for me. But he’s started bouncing out and barking at passing dogs again, and if he’s out when one of the fighter planes whoosh past overhead, he shoots back into the cottage. (He’s a bit of a wuss when it comes to loud noises!)
My big concern just now is the pressure sore he’s developed on his remaining elbow. I am incredulous, as he never lies on any hard surface … it’s always the bed, or a sofa. he never lies on just the carpet, and certainly never on a hard floor. The vet spent ages trying to create a doughnut shaped dressing, but it didn’t stay in place. I think I have had more success with a single adhesive dressing and a slice of non adherent dressing on top, smeared with the antibiotic cream. The best method of keeping it all in place I’ve found is a tube cut from one of my heavy gauge opaque stockings, circled with strips of micropore tape. I can turn the “cuffs” of the tube over so that they cover the tape and so he isn’t tempted to pull at the ends. I think it is starting to look better … I have been cleaning it with antiseptic wipes. I am terrified he’ll damage his remaining foreleg. In a funny way, the fact it wasn’t a cancer makes me nervous that he’ll develop OS in the other leg. I suppose I’ve done so much reading around OS of late, it feels as if it’s waiting in the wings for me to relax, before springing out like a pantomime villain. Stupid I know, but there you are.
His scars have faded a lot … there are places where bits of the scabbing remains, and I would love to give him a warm shower in the tub, but I’m nervous of lifting him … I suppose I could put a bath towel on the bottom of the tub to give him some grip. I massage the site with Bio Oil, which is supposed to have a miraculous impact on scarring … pregnant ladies swear by it for fighting stretch marks. It smells wonderful.
Feeling low today as last night I heard that a girlfriend, having survived breast cancer 3 years ago, and having had a clear scan 6 months ago, has developed secondaries which are inoperable. Her daughter is set to wed in April, and she fears she will not be here to see it. I think the wedding must be brought forward. Cancer really is a bastard of a disease.
Thanks for listening
Polly, Rowan & Willow XXXX
oh polly, so sorry to hear about your friend – cancer does indeed suck. hope she can rally for the wedding, and can continue to create memories with her time.
as for the pressure sore, that was a major challenge for gayle as well, i know we’ve discussed it back and forth on the forum… when we finally got to the point of seeing ‘some healing’, our vet decided to stitch it closed to try to ‘seal the deal’. it worked for gayle, but what an awful 3 – 4 weeks…i thought we’d lose her from the infection and such… hate to even think of it, it was so scary, coming right after the amputation…but, as usual, gayle was brave and got through it. ro will too. sending best wishes and ‘et juju’ to aide in the healing process!!
charon & gayle
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. This disease is so awful and has robbed us all of so much. I hate it.
As for Rowan, keep reminding yourself of what you said – he is adapting better than you are. Don’t feel sad watching him get up/down. Be happy that he’s there with you! He’s not feeling sad or sorry for himself. He’s happy to be there with you and Willow and the chickens.
Hang in there and I hope the pressure sore gets better very soon!
Please give him some extra loving from Abby and me,
Jackie, Abby’s mom
cancer really is shit i hate it i hate it i hate it
Definitely what Gillian said goes double here.
However if you spend your time feeling bad about your decision, feeling sad about your Rowan, or even worrying about what may or may not come in the future, you won’t have as much time to really enjoy the extra time that you’ve bought for your boy.
Trust me, this Zen-like attitude about what our future holds has come pretty late into the game for me — for a really long time, I was all about worrying and being depressed over things I couldn’t control. And finally I have gotten to the point where I know I can’t change what is going to happen with Rio, so I’d better take every moment I can to just love her. It doesn’t stop the moments of panic where I realize just how little time we really have, but it really helps me get through them. I just smell her fur, and give her kisses, and touch her soft ears, and feel grateful that I’ve had as much time as I have….
The same goes with our human family/friends. Although we don’t like to think about tragedy striking, there are no guarantees for any of us. We just have to appreciate the moment, and try not to get lost in the unfairness of it all. Which, for me personally, is way easier said than done.
Hang in there. We are here for you.
Micki and Rio
sorry more positive this time, i just had one of those moments. I am very glad rowan is coping Dizzy doen’t do everything she used to but she does what she wants to, and the things that make her happy she does.
we all worry about our dogs and for that matter family and friends and we can’t change the future we can only live in the now and to make the most of what we have now and not what we may not have tomorrow.
Cancer for us is truely heart breaking. A odd a thing as this is for me to say because she is my heart and soul dog i would rather she have osteo than jasper because i don’t think he would have done as well as dizzy has.
here is the very best place to come and vent because many people have been there and done it. Continued good vibes for Rowan and your friend
i am sorry to hear about your friend. cancer bites, there is no way around it.
i don’t think your feelings are stupid at all. i think after having to make the decision we have all had to make you ALWAYS feel like the other shoe is going to drop.
every day i try to remember the lessons my dogs teach me – live in the moment. it is hard for us stupid humans to remember to do that ;0)
nancy & butchey